Richtofen's Party
by UglyTurnip
Summary: Nazi Zombies Halloween-themed AU. Dempsey, Nikolai, and Takeo find themselves at a party thrown by their new neighbor. However, they soon find out that this is no ordinary party.


Not many people in Nuketown would say that Halloween is their favorite holiday. Oh, many did enjoy it, alright, but it simply wasn't able to hold up when compared to the gift-giving of Christmas, the delicious feast of Thanksgiving, the festivities of Easter, or even the love in the air for Valentine's Day. However, Tank Dempsey was different. For him, there was no greater day of the year than October 31st, not even his own birthday. Every year, Dempsey would decorate his lawn with spectacular props rivaled by few in the small suburban neighborhood. He put effort into frightening any children that dared to trick-or-treat at his house.

He would even go as far as to dress in a different costume every year. This year, he wrapped himself in a large black cloak, bought a pair of pointy vampire teeth, and went as Count Dracula. For drinks, he bought anything red, and drank enough to make his teeth radiate the color. Yeah, the amount of sugar in those drinks would probably give him diabetes, but Dempsey didn't really care. Nothing was going to ruin his Halloween, absolutely nothing.

And so, as the sun set on Halloween night, you could bet that Dempsey was ready to enjoy his favorite night. He was in the living room, dressed in character, with a bowl of popcorn in his lap. He had rented the latest horror movies he could find, and planned to watch them in between trick-or-treaters. He didn't so much as get settled on his couch when he heard the doorbell ring.

He smiled and stood up, glancing in the mirror to make sure his costume was freaky enough, and smiled as he saw his pale, menacing figure stared back at him with the same expression.

He opened the door with an evil smile on his face and hissed. Of course, the children jumped a little, but smiled when they saw that he had a large bowl of candy in his arms. There were three of them, all little boys, dressed in matching mummy costumes. They were accompanied by an adult. Dempsey realized him as his neighbor from a few houses down the road and across the street, Samuel Stuhlinger.

"Trick-or-Treat!" The kids exclaimed in perfect unison, and Dempsey switched his attention back to them. He smiled warmly, and dug into his bowl.

"How are you kids, tonight?" He struck up a conversation as he handed each kid a couple of full-sized Hershey's bars. You see, Dempsey was generous with his candy, for many kids were too nervous to even approach. Those who did always came back in the subsequent years, for they found out that Dempsey was surprisingly nice on Halloween.

"We're good, Mr. Dempsey!" The oldest kid, a scrawny boy with chestnut hair and freckles, answered.

"I'm glad to hear it," he grinned. "Hey, you're the Johnson kids, right?"

"Yeah, Daddy took Mommy out for dinner tonight. Uncle Stu is watching us tonight, right Uncle Stu?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Stuhlinger answered with a hint of fear in his voice. "You kids got your candy, now can we go?"

Dempsey chuckled. "I'm surprised that you're not locked up in your house like usual, Samuel."

Stuhlinger rolled his eyes. "I would if I could, but Marlton is paying me good money, and I can't say no."

Dempsey smirked. Marlton worked IT at the same office, and he was a nice guy, if a bit of a smartass. He was a wimp, a stereotypical nerd, but yet he had hit the jackpot and married Abigail Briarton. It didn't take long for the town to find out why she chose him: he treated her like a queen, and she thought his quirks were cute. They had the happiest marriage in the entire town, and Dempsey was happy for them.

"Tell Marlton I said hello," Dempsey said as he handed Stuhlinger his own chocolate bar. He glanced down at it, studying it.

"You didn't poison this, did you?"

Dempsey rolled his eyes. "Sam, I'm an ex-marine. If I wanted you dead, I would have killed you a long time ago."

Stuhlinger reluctantly stuffed it in his pocket. "Alright, I trust you. You can never be too careful, you know?" He then turned to the kids. "C'mon, you three, let's go."

Dempsey watched the kids walk down the yard and onto the sidewalk before closing his door and setting the candy bowl aside. He sat on the couch and pressed play on the DVD. He had just gotten to the main menu when he heard the doorbell ring again, and again, and again.

"I'm coming!" Dempsey shouted as the bell kept going off, much to his annoyance.

A familiar face (and breath) greeted him as he opened the door. Nikolai Belinski swayed back and forth, his finger resting on the doorbell button. He was dressed in a giant beer bottle for a costume, which he did every year, and held a much smaller bottle of vodka in his hand. He was Dempsey's best friend since they met in high school, despite the fact that Nikolai went nowhere after graduation.

"Well, hey, Nikolai!" Dempsey greeted as he slapped him on the shoulder. "Come inside!"

The Russian slowly switched his gaze onto Dempsey and nodded. "Da, OK."

He was flat-on-his-ass drunk, like usual. His heavy eyes just blankly stared back at him for a second before he began to stumble past Dempsey into the living room.

"Nice place you got here, Dempsey," Nikolai remarked drunkenly.

Dempsey stepped past him and gave a confused glance. "Nikolai, you crash at my house like every other weekend."

"I do?" Nikolai thought out loud. "Oh yeah. Well, are you excited for Halloween?"

"What do you think?" Dempsey asked, showing off his Dracula costume. "I'm all in character. I see you're a beer bottle again."

"Da, you can't go wrong with giant beer bottle, no?"

Dempsey shrugged. "I just think you should try something different, that's all."

Nikolai took a swig from the vodka bottle and stared back at Dempsey, a smirk plastered on his face. "Hell no, friend."

Dempsey chuckled and sat on the couch, gesturing to the next seat over. "You wanna watch this movie with me?"

"What's it about?"

Dempsey reached for the DVD case and read it silently. "Apparently it involves the ghost of some girl terrorizing a group of teens on the Internet."

"What? That sounds like the dumbest idea I've ever heard!"

Dempsey would watch just about anything in the horror genre, but even he was having second thoughts now. "Yeah, you're probably right. Let me see what else we got."

Just as Dempsey began to rummage through a nearby box stuffed with DVD cases, the doorbell rang for the third time that night. He grunted and forced himself to his feet.

"You look, Nik, I'll get the door."

"OK," Nikolai agreed as he awkwardly sat down and scooted on his butt to the DVD box.

Dempsey grabbed the candy bowl and opened the door, expecting to see another group of children. Instead, he was greeted to the sight of Russman standing on his doorstep.

Dempsey raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you the dirty homeless guy who's always hiding in the bushes?"

Russman smiled, not offended by Dempsey's question. "Yeah, 'ole Russman was just walkin' on down the street when he noticed 'yer mailbox had a letter in it."

He then pulled out a letter from his jacket pocket and dropped it into the candy bowl. Dempsey glanced down at it, then at Russman.

Russman was eyeing the candy. "Do 'ya think 'ya could spare a little candy?"

Dempsey was willing to sacrifice a piece if it meant that he would go away. "Sure."

Russman quickly dug his dirty fingers into the bowl and pulled out a handful of goodies. "Oh, boy! I ain't tasted candy in a long time! Thanks, Mr. Dempsey!" he called as he ran off. Dempsey made damn sure he was off the property before he closed the door.

"Who was that?" Nikolai questioned as Dempsey walked back into the living room, still holding the bowl.

"That creepy homeless guy who apparently goes through everybody's mail. He gave me a letter."

"A letter?" Nikolai turned around and clumsily stood up. "Did you read it?"

Dempsey plucked it out of the bowl and stared at the handwriting. It was neat and sophisticated, in contrast with his own brutish scribbles, and he shivered when he noticed the return address: 115 Maxis Drive. He remembered that was where Dr. Richtofen lived. Dr. Richtofen had moved into town about six months ago, and he was an outgoing, educated fellow. However, he was not well-liked by the town due to his morbid sense of humor and his strange fascination with human organs. He didn't actually physically bother anyone, but most of the townsfolk didn't want to be around him.

Dempsey had a strong urge to just trash the letter and continue with his plans for the night, but he resisted it and tore open the envelope. Nikolai watched in confused silence as Dempsey silently read the letter.

 _Dear Friend,_

 _You are cordially invited to my Halloween party. As you may or may not know, Halloween is my favorite time of year, and what better way to spend it than with a party. No need to RSVP, just show up and have a good time. I hope to see you there!_

 _Sincerely,_

 _Edward Richtofen_

Finally, Dempsey glanced up at Nikolai with a small frown.

"It's a party invitation from Dr. Richtofen."

"A party invitation? You haven't spoken to him in months."

Dempsey nodded. "Yeah. It's a little sketchy. Maybe he's just trying to reach out, though."

"Did he mention vodka?"

"No. It may not be one of _those_ parties, Nik."

"Why don't we go and see?"

Dempsey shook his head. "No thanks. He's too creepy for my taste."

Nikolai smiled a little as he came over and wrapped a friendly arm around Dempsey. "Aw, c'mon, Tank. You do the same thing every year, no? How about we try something a little different this time?"

Dempsey awkwardly stepped away from Nikolai. "You just want to go for the vodka."

Nikolai grabbed his bottle and took a sip. "Yep. No shame in that."

"Listen, I-"

The phone rang, cutting Dempsey off.

"That's probably him right now," Dempsey muttered as he walked to the nightstand and picked up the landline.

"Dempsey residence," Dempsey answered dismissively.

"Hello, Tank," came a familiar Japanese accent.

"Mr. Masaki?" Dempsey perked up. "What are you calling me for? I took the day off?"

"Call me Takeo," Takeo replied, his tone emotionless. "I was just wondering if you were going to Dr. Richtofen's party."

"No? Why?"

"You're not? That's a shame, I was hoping to get to know you a little better, Dempsey, especially since I'm looking for a new executive for the team."

Dempsey gasped. "Really? Well, I was just kidding, of course I'll go!"

Dempsey could almost sense the smirk growing on his boss's face. "That's what I thought. I'll see you there."

Without another word, he hung up. It took a second for Dempsey to realize what he just agreed to.

"Shit," he muttered. "Tricked again."

"Was that your boss?" Nikolai questioned. "Mr. Matasuki?"

"Masaki," Dempsey corrected. "And he just tricked me into going to Richtofen's party."

"Funny how he just called right after you got the letter."

"Yeah, he bribed me with a damn promotion. Of course, I agreed without thinking."

Nikolai smiled and headed to the door. "Well, it looks like you will be doing something different tonight, after all. Let's go."

Dempsey glanced at his DVDs and back at Nikolai. "Damn it. I'm coming. Might as well get that promotion."

Nikolai opened the door. "That's the spirit! Now, hurry, before he runs out of vodka!"

With that, Nikolai took off for Richtofen's house.

"Hey, wait up!" Dempsey called as he sprinted after his drunk friend.


End file.
